


cold moon rising

by onetiredboy



Series: Jay's Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Other, but theres ALSO fluff i promise, sorry everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26335120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onetiredboy/pseuds/onetiredboy
Summary: A story about Peter Nureyev and a promise.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Series: Jay's Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690075
Comments: 11
Kudos: 55





	cold moon rising

**Author's Note:**

> title from molasses by hush sound! & thanks to goinghost for help w the title !

Peter Nureyev’s life was usually filled with excitement. Filled with high-stakes endeavours, improbable odds, with a life - often his - on the line. It wouldn’t be hard to assume that he is used to sudden changes, to plot twists and surprises, to having the rug pulled from under him in crucial moments. But something Peter Nureyev learned long ago is that often the moments that change people forever don’t happen at high risk, at high pressure. No, very often, your life can change in an instant without any warning at all.

A friend where you didn’t expect one. A plane ticket cancelled or an appointment rescheduled. A kiss in a dusty Martian office. 

Or an afternoon on the spaceship you’ve come to call home, temporarily. With the people you’ve come to call… family. For now.

With Juno Steel walking into the lounge room and asking to talk.

Nureyev puts down the nail polish he’d been painting Rita’s toes with, and ignores her shriek of indignation, “Right now? Can it wait?”

“Uh,” Juno shifts from foot to foot. He’s clutching the doorframe with one hand, ashen knuckled. Nureyev feels his heart pick up in his chest.

His instinct is to deflect, of course. Ignore a problem long enough and it’ll end up tucked away where you can’t see it - that had been his motto for twenty-odd years, even if Buddy would fix him with that terrible disappointed stare if he said so out loud. 

“I’ll come right away,” Nureyev says instead, and watches the worry lines on Juno’s face smooth out a little.

“Thanks,” he says, and disappears from the door. 

“My apologies, Miss Rita,” Nureyev pops the cap back on the nail polish, “I’m sure we can continue this after I come back.”

Rita rolls her eyes and wiggles her toes, “Sure thing, Mistah Ransom, but don’t be offended if I’ve replaced ya with Jet by the time you come back.”

Nureyev packs up the nail polish, kicks on his own slip ons, and heads down the hallway towards Juno’s room. His heart won’t stop thudding against his ribs. He needs to get a hold of himself.

 _What are you so afraid of?_ he chides himself, at the same time as a voice answers _He’s found out._

The thought makes Peter taste bile. He ducks in behind a support beam in the hallway and places his hands over his own heart. He feels it race under his hands, and closes his eyes.

He can’t have found out. There’s no reason for him to suspect.

What would Peter say if he had? How could he possibly begin to explain?

_Don’t be stupid, Peter._

Nureyev breathes slowly. He focuses on the feeling of his ribs, chest, lungs moving, of the physical evidence of his control over his body. Whatever Juno’s going to say, he’s going to say it. Peter still has control over himself.

Nureyev straightens his back. He imagines himself collecting up his fears and placing them into a box, then wrapping the box in chains. Buddy can say what she likes about his methods; he’s feeling calmer already now that that pesky thought is locked away.

After a moment more, Nureyev continues down the hallway to their room, and steps inside.

“Hey,” Juno stands up from the edge of their bed immediately. He looks as nervous as Peter feels- did feel, before he filed it away.

“Juno, love,” Nureyev closes the door behind him and steps into Juno’s arms, “What’s going on? Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Juno puts his hands on Nureyev’s shoulders and looks up at him, “Yeah, I’m okay, just… I…”

Juno sighs. His brows furrow and he rubs his thumbs on Nureyev’s shoulders, “I need… to tell you something. Something I should’ve said a while ago.”

Nureyev’s eyebrows raise. He’s now concerned for an entirely different reason, his mind racing to predict Juno’s next words ( _It’s just not working out; you made me feel uncomfortable; you’re actually kind of terrible in bed and we should work on that)_ “What is it?”

“I… uh. Can you sit down, actually?” Juno steps back from Nureyev suddenly, “On-on the bed?” 

“Of course.” Nureyev steps to the bed and sits down, cautiously. He doesn’t take his eyes off Juno.

Juno’s throat bobs as he swallows. He comes to stand near Nureyev’s knees, “Sorry for all the theatrics,” he gives a guilty smile.

Nureyev smiles back, “To be fair, you’ve had your fair share from me. It’s about time you returned the favour.”

That makes Juno laugh a little. Then his eyes flit away. He reaches down with both his hands, and after a moment’s hesitation, Peter takes them.

“This is going to sound stupid,” Juno says, still without looking Peter in the face. “I don’t really expect you to understand, but, um… Look. There are some things that aren’t as easy for me to say as other people. Call me superstitious, or… hell, maybe just traumatised, but… I get blocks. Around certain things.”

“You don’t have to say anything for me,” Nureyev says quietly, “Juno…”

“No,” Juno looks down at him suddenly, “No, this one I… I want you to hear. You deserve that, Nureyev. Even if… even if it’s not mutual, anymore.”

Juno makes Nureyev ache in a lot of ways. Sometimes with wanting, sometimes with love - now the aching is reaching deep into him like a tree root, breaking him open. “Juno, of course it’s--”

“Just- let me finish talking, okay?” 

Nureyev closes his mouth and nods.

“I think… I have this fear that… I dunno. That the people I say this to always end up leaving me. Or something bad happens to them. And I don’t want that with you. I…” Juno sighs again, “Fuck, I’m bad at words. Just… if I’m gonna say this,” he grins a little, “promise me you won’t ever leave.”

“Juno…”

“I’m kidding. I know you can’t promise that. It doesn’t matter. Even if you do, you deserve to hear me say it. At least once. So, um…”

Juno steps back and pulls Nureyev to his feet. He reaches up on his toes and draws him into a soft kiss. Nureyev puts his arms around Juno’s back and holds him until Juno pulls back.

“I love you,” Juno says quietly, his eye on Nureyev’s, and Nureyev’s breath comes out of him choked.

Juno leans up to press their lips together again, a soft peck. “I love you,” he says again. “I’ve fallen in love with you. Maybe I won’t always be able to say it, but it’s true.”

Nobody’s ever been in love with Peter Nureyev before. “Juno,” he says quietly, and kisses him. When they part, Juno falls into his arms, hugging him tight.

Nureyev feels Juno’s body against his, feels the beat of Juno’s heart where his chest is pressed against him. He opens his mouth to tell him he’s more of a fool now than he’s ever been before.

Nureyev catches something out of the corner of his eye and glances over.

It’s his burner comms, sitting on the chest of drawers on the far wall. It’s ringing. 

Peter doesn’t have to wonder who it is.

Juno leans back from the hug, and draws Peter into a kiss again. 

“Who knows,” he says when he breaks, “The first person I said it to was my brother. The second was Diamond. Maybe… maybe third time’s the charm.”

Every ounce of guilt Peter Nureyev has ever locked away in his mind breaks free all at once. He sees his comms go dark again out of the corner of his eye, and tries to settle the feeling of his stomach churning. 

“Maybe,” he says to Juno, and Juno smiles. 

**Author's Note:**

> Bad Things Happen Bingo Prompt #3: Breaking a Promise. Hope you enjoyed! If you came from twitter, consider retweeting it if you liked it. If you didn't, consider yelling at me on twitter! @onetiredb0y.


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